Most couples come to our first call expecting to interview me, and they should. What they don't always realise is that I'm listening too. I meet every couple before I accept a booking, because the right fit between us shows up on your wedding day in ways you'll feel without ever having to think about them.
Most couples arrive at our first call with a list of questions, a slightly nervous smile, and the feeling that they're about to interview someone. They are, and they should. You're trusting one person with the music, the announcements and the mood of the most important party you'll ever throw, so you want to know who that person is before you hand it over.
What you might not expect is that I'm listening just as closely as you are.
I meet every couple before I accept a booking, usually over Zoom, sometimes face-to-face at a coffee shop or at their house. That call is your chance to decide whether you want me at your wedding. It's also my chance to decide whether I'm the right DJ for it. Most of the time the answer on both sides is an easy yes. Now and then it isn't, and that's the reason the call exists.
Is this a test you have to pass?
No, and I'd hate anyone to arrive at the call worried that it is. There are no right answers, nothing to prepare, and nobody gets marked down for not knowing what they want yet. Plenty of couples tell me they haven't thought about the music beyond the first dance, and that's fine. Working that out with you is my job.
What I'm checking is fit. I do 30 to 40 weddings a year now, and each one gets weeks of preparation before the day itself: planning emails, your love story, the running order, the songs that mean something to your families. That only works if we're going to enjoy working together. If we are, your wedding gets everything I have. If we're not, it's better for both of us to find that out on a half-hour call than at eleven o'clock on the night.
What I'm listening for
A lot of it is in how you answer, not what you answer.
When I ask about your guests, some couples light up. They tell me about the aunt who'll be first on the dance floor, the university friends who'll want the songs from their first year, the grandad who hasn't danced since the eighties and might just be persuaded. That tells me you're thinking about the people in the room, and a wedding planned around its guests is a wedding that fills a dance floor.
I'm also listening for the things that don't get said. Over more than 25 years at weddings, the warning signs have turned out to be surprisingly consistent:
- A couple who can't agree on anything during the call, and aren't laughing about it.
- A conversation that feels like a negotiation rather than two people planning something together.
- Requests that keep growing, with no sense of where they'll stop.
- A feeling, hard to put into words, that the day is going to be difficult for reasons that have nothing to do with music.
None of these on their own means a wedding will go wrong. Together, they usually mean a hard day, and the couple feels it most.
Trusting the spidey senses
There's a gut feeling I've learned to take seriously. Some people call it instinct; I call it my spidey senses. After two and a half thousand weddings, I can usually feel within a few minutes of a conversation whether a day is going to be a joy to be part of.
I didn't always listen to it. Years ago I took on a wedding where the signs were there long before the day, and I talked myself past them because I was sure I could make it work. I've written about what happened at that wedding, and it's the reason I now meet every couple first. "I can make this work" and "this is going to work" are two very different sentences.
Why your wedding is better for it
On the day, the difference is simple: the weddings I do are fun. I don't get the nights other DJs tell me about, with a fight by the bar, two families who won't share a dance floor, or a best man who has to be walked outside before the cake is cut. I put a lot of that down to the conversation we have before I say yes.
When the couple and I are right for each other, everything after the call gets easier. You tell me what matters to you without feeling you have to justify it. I can tell you when an idea won't land with your guests, because you know I'm on your side. And on the night, you can stop thinking about the timings, the announcements and whether everyone's enjoying themselves, because you already trust the person looking after all of that.
A DJ who wants the right wedding, not every wedding
A DJ who'll take any booking for any date will take your deposit happily. If you want someone who cares how your day feels, from the first guest arriving to the last song, it helps to know they chose your wedding as much as you chose them.
So when we talk, ask me anything you like. I'll be asking you a few things too, mostly about the people you love and the day you're picturing. If it feels right on both sides, we'll know.
Would you like to find out? Get in touch and tell me a little about your wedding, and we'll set up a call.